There are like, 3 houses on my block already putting up Christmas lights, and this bothers me. First off, with the way the world is today, I find it completely selfish to all of humanity to waste electricity on such things. But with a more traditional view of things, it's not even Thanksgiving yet! Listen, I'm not a fan of Christmas as a whole. I find it wasteful. But, I want to find something positive in the season, and so I give you a recipe to get wasteful, or at least wasted with.
Today, dear friends, I offer you my famous holiday punch recipe, printed for the first time. Many have asked for it. I've kept it a secret for years, because though it is quite simple, you'll notice when you serve it, it's as close to an aphrodisiac that you can legally serve.
You will need:
1 bottle of champagne
1 liter of vodka
1 large can of pineapple juice
1 liter of ginger ale
1 gallon of orange sherbet
1 can of strawberries (yes, the canned, we want the syrup they're in)
At least one box of condoms
Mix everything but the sherbet, strawberries and condoms in a big punch bowl. Add the sherbet on top, but stir a little. Ooooooh bubbles! Dress the concoction by pouring the can of strawberries slowly on top. Wait for the party to take off. Keep those condoms handy.
Cheers.
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